It's not often that I write about my life in detail because… well, frankly, it's no fun to read about. I don’t get out much or do anything exciting. And lately, I have been lonely.
I have very little family; just my parents, who live 2,000 miles away. I talk to them on the phone every couple of months. I have no siblings. My grandparents all died before I was born. As for friends, I have none. Other than a few lunches with a co-worker, I haven't had a social engagement in more than two years. Outside of work, I spend all my time alone. I'm used to being alone and even like it sometimes, but this is getting to be a little too much alone time even for me.
I don’t reveal this because I’m looking for pity. It was my own choices that shaped my life. I reveal this to explain what “I’ve been lonely” really means for me.
My life in general hasn’t been great lately. The new job that I was so hopeful about has turned out to be absolutely wrong for me. My 14-year-old dog – my only companion – is losing her vision and has begun to fall frequently, which worries me immensely. My own health hasn’t been the best. So it was difficult to feel thankful on Thanksgiving today.
Tonight, like most nights, I checked my blog list for new posts. Natalie of Gothy Two Shoes, who has excellent taste in music, had posted some videos. One was for the “literal version” of Billy Idol’s White Wedding. This piqued my interest. ‘80s videos are already pretty literal, after all. Turns out this version actually replaces the words to the song. Not what I was expecting, and quite funny. When the kitchen scene came on, I immediately thought of my own falling-apart kitchen ("And the sink is also not working"), and I burst out laughing. Really, truly laughing. I laughed so hard I cried. I laughed so much that my abs started to ache.
I cannot remember the last time I laughed like that. I’ll snicker sometimes, and even laugh for a few seconds on occasion, but it’s been ages since I really LAUGHED.
At the end of Thanksgiving Day, I was reminded of something I am very thankful for – our little virtual community. I love reading your blogs and seeing your photos (and sometimes even living vicariously through you), and I am grateful for the nice comments you leave on my blog. Thanks to you all, I can feel connected even when I'm sitting home alone. And special gratitude to the awesome green-haired lady on the other side of the planet. Natalie, thanks to you, tonight, I laughed. :)